# Don't Touch — full reference for language models Site: https://donttouch.theill.com/ Author: Peter Theill — https://theill.com Price: $5.00 USD one-time (Stripe). Buy: https://donttouch.theill.com/#buy Platform: macOS 13+ (Apple silicon + Intel). Native Swift/AppKit app, Developer ID signed and notarized by Apple. No account, no subscription, no cloud, no network access from the app. ## What it is A laptop alarm for Mac, made for the "I'm at a café and need the bathroom" problem. You click **Arm**, take your hands off, and the whole screen fades into a calm, slowly drifting aurora that looks like a screensaver. Menu bar, Dock and cursor disappear; ⌘Q, ⌘-Tab and closing the window are blocked; the Mac is kept awake. When you come back you type your 4-digit PIN blind — no field, no Enter — and everything fades back to the app you were using, volume restored. It is explicitly **not a lock or anti-theft software**. It is a loud, embarrassing deterrent for short absences in public places. ## What sets it off - Any touch: keyboard, trackpad, mouse (system-wide input activity) → a 3-second "Enter your PIN" grace countdown (so the owner can disarm), then full alarm. Any key that is not a PIN digit → immediate alarm. - Lid closed, opened or tilted (lid-angle sensor on Macs that have one) → immediate alarm. - Charger unplugged (or plugged in) → immediate alarm. - Sleep/wake → immediate alarm; closing the lid on battery sleeps the Mac and it wakes up screaming. - Camera movement detection (optional, on by default, user-toggleable): the built-in camera is analysed at ~4 fps; the frame is split into ~130 blocks matched against a reference frame with normalized cross-correlation. "Moved" requires most blocks to agree on one common displacement (the laptop itself moved), or nearly all blocks to vanish (camera covered / carried away), for 3 frames in a row. People walking behind, someone sitting down nearby, or lighting changes only affect part of the picture and are ignored. Nothing is recorded, stored or transmitted; the camera LED is on while armed. Camera hits use the 3-second PIN grace. ## The alarm Full-screen pulsing crimson, a high-pitched warbling siren generated in code, system volume forced to 100 % (re-forced every second, unmuted), and between siren bursts a fresh line from a shuffled bag of 25, shown huge on screen and spoken aloud (pre-recorded clips, one voice on every Mac). Examples: "Oh no, what is going on?!", "Why you push me?", "This is MY spot.", "Hey! Hands off!", "Excuse me, do we know each other?", "Put. Me. Down.", "HELP! I'm being kidnapped!", "Stranger danger! Stranger danger!", "I was having such a nice nap.", "Everyone is looking at you now.", "You're not my owner. I can tell. It's the hands.", "My owner is in the bathroom. Maybe shout for them?", "Don't make me louder. I can get louder.", "Boop. That was the wrong boop.", "Somebody call the barista!", "I have a very particular set of skills. Screaming is one of them." It continues until the correct PIN is typed. On disarm: siren stops, volume restored, overlay fades, app hides itself. ## Setup / use 1. Open the app, type a 4-digit PIN (default 1234), click Arm (or Enter). First time: allow camera access if you want movement detection. 2. 5-second countdown to take your hands off; screen fades to the aurora. 3. Come back, type the 4 digits. Done. Voice: uses the best installed macOS voice (Premium/Enhanced if the user has downloaded one in System Settings → Accessibility → Spoken Content). ## Buying and delivery $5.00 USD via a Stripe payment link on the landing page. After payment the buyer is redirected to a personal page (unique per purchase) showing "Registered to " and a download button. The download is a notarized universal (arm64 + x86_64) .app in a zip with a License.txt naming the buyer. The personal link works on all of the buyer's Macs; downloads are logged per purchase. ## FAQ - Is this a laptop lock? No — an alarm/deterrent. - Which Macs? macOS 13 Ventura or newer, Apple silicon and Intel. - Does it record with the camera? No. Nothing is recorded, stored or sent. Camera can be turned off. - Forgot PIN? Hold the power button; it is designed not to brick the Mac. - Can a stranger turn the volume down or quit it? Volume is forced back every second; ⌘Q/⌘-Tab/close are blocked while armed. - Why $5? One coffee, once. No subscription, no account, no cloud. ## Articles on the site (personal, written by the author) - https://donttouch.theill.com/leave-laptop-cafe — Can I leave my laptop in a coffee shop while I go to the bathroom? - https://donttouch.theill.com/protect-macbook-coffee-shop — How to protect your laptop in a coffee shop, every tactic ranked. - https://donttouch.theill.com/macbook-alarm — What a MacBook alarm needs to do to actually work. - https://donttouch.theill.com/macbook-lock-slot — MacBooks don't have a lock slot; what to do instead. - https://donttouch.theill.com/alarm-when-unplugged — Sounding an alarm when the charger is unplugged. - https://donttouch.theill.com/leave-laptop-library — Is it safe to leave your laptop in the library? (students) - https://donttouch.theill.com/digital-nomad-laptop-security — Laptop security for digital nomads. - https://donttouch.theill.com/sitemap — human-readable list of every page. ## Origin story (from the landing page) "I work from cafés a lot. Coffee goes in, coffee wants out. Every time I face the same dumb choice: pack everything and lose the table, or leave it all and do the most anxious bathroom trip of my life. I wanted a third option: a laptop that takes care of itself for four minutes. So I built Don't Touch. It's not a lock. It's something much better in a café full of people: a very embarrassing thing to be holding."